today i'm linking up with anna over at the days when i'm not a nurse. i started reading anna's blog not too long ago. her blog is so fun and she's a nurse {which is prob the main reason i started following it}. so that's a win-win-win in my book. today's link up is all about first experiences with a patient's death.
my first patient death story actually takes place in nursing school. to complete my mandatory volunteer hours, i chose to volunteer at a local hospice/palliative program. i wanted my volunteer experience to be nuring related to possibly help me narrow down what kind of nurse i wanted to be.
*for those that don't know, to qualify for hospice you must be given a terminal diagnosis with six months or less to live.
as hospice volunteer, my duties were basically spend some quality time with the patient. most of my patients that i had were non-verbal or just perferred not to talk. so i would read to them (from the bible if they were religous or school books if they were obtunded) after being a hospice volunteer for quite some time, i was trained to be a vigil volunteer (this is for patient's who are actively dying). i can't tell you why i decided to become a vigil volunteer other than my inital thought was that it would be good to have some experiences with death {from a nursing perspective}.
that kinda sounds morbid. but so far in my life, i've been blessed to not have many personal experiences with death. however, i am aware that no one can avoid death. and death isn't always easy for the people involved. i happen to think that death can be a beautiful thing and is a part of life not to be feared. basically, i think it's important that we are prepared and ready for death whenever it may come.
back to my story. the thing with vigil volunteering is that it's not exactly a scheduled thing. usually you get a call from the volunteer cordinator asking you to go and sit with the dying patient. a couple weeks after training, i got a call that patient was actively dying and they wanted someone to sit with the patient. so i went. i had no idea what to expect. and to be honest. it was weird. i sat beside the patient for hours. i read to them from the ensign {i don't know if that was appropriate. but i did it anyways.}. i sat with the patient for hours before i had to go home. the next day i recieved the same call, the patient had made it through the night but probably wouldn't make it through this night. this night i was more mentally prepared. i held the patients hand most of the time as i stared at the chest watching for any changes in the baseline. as i sat by the patient's side i noticed the shallow, rapid breathes become slow and even slower. i knew that death in the patient was evident.
i now feel fortunate to have watched someone take their last breathe. i later recieved a letter from the patient's family thanking me for being at their family member's side. but i feel it is i who should be thanking them, for letting be a part of that experience. i also feel fortunate to have experienced death for the first time {as a nurse} in the way that i did. this patient had lived a full life. the family had said their good-byes. in that aspect, this first death experience was best for a soon-to-be nurse. especially since i know i will experience deaths in my patiens and that they won't always be anticipated.
*for those that don't know, to qualify for hospice you must be given a terminal diagnosis with six months or less to live.
as hospice volunteer, my duties were basically spend some quality time with the patient. most of my patients that i had were non-verbal or just perferred not to talk. so i would read to them (from the bible if they were religous or school books if they were obtunded) after being a hospice volunteer for quite some time, i was trained to be a vigil volunteer (this is for patient's who are actively dying). i can't tell you why i decided to become a vigil volunteer other than my inital thought was that it would be good to have some experiences with death {from a nursing perspective}.
that kinda sounds morbid. but so far in my life, i've been blessed to not have many personal experiences with death. however, i am aware that no one can avoid death. and death isn't always easy for the people involved. i happen to think that death can be a beautiful thing and is a part of life not to be feared. basically, i think it's important that we are prepared and ready for death whenever it may come.
back to my story. the thing with vigil volunteering is that it's not exactly a scheduled thing. usually you get a call from the volunteer cordinator asking you to go and sit with the dying patient. a couple weeks after training, i got a call that patient was actively dying and they wanted someone to sit with the patient. so i went. i had no idea what to expect. and to be honest. it was weird. i sat beside the patient for hours. i read to them from the ensign {i don't know if that was appropriate. but i did it anyways.}. i sat with the patient for hours before i had to go home. the next day i recieved the same call, the patient had made it through the night but probably wouldn't make it through this night. this night i was more mentally prepared. i held the patients hand most of the time as i stared at the chest watching for any changes in the baseline. as i sat by the patient's side i noticed the shallow, rapid breathes become slow and even slower. i knew that death in the patient was evident.
i now feel fortunate to have watched someone take their last breathe. i later recieved a letter from the patient's family thanking me for being at their family member's side. but i feel it is i who should be thanking them, for letting be a part of that experience. i also feel fortunate to have experienced death for the first time {as a nurse} in the way that i did. this patient had lived a full life. the family had said their good-byes. in that aspect, this first death experience was best for a soon-to-be nurse. especially since i know i will experience deaths in my patiens and that they won't always be anticipated.
2 comments:
Thank you for sharing this! I think it's incredible that you volunteered to sit with the dying patients. I can imagine how comforting it would be to know someone is with you during a time like that. Deaths don't always go so smoothly, I'm glad you got to experience one like that.
(ps I think the ensign is perfect for instances like that) :)
I can't imagine working in hospice. Or even volunteering in hospice. You are so much stronger than I am. I would have been bawling my eyes out. Thanks so much for sharing this!
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